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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?